Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize