Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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