who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wish I only lived at night.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
