I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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