biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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