well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
