I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize