Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you never un-have a 4some
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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