no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
