She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
