Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
