woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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