so that wasnt chicken after all
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
