I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
