Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
