I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
