I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
