It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize