So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
