I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
