She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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