So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We got so high we made milksteak
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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