the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
