He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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