"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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