Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
