The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
