woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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