thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
