But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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