It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
