Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
