chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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