You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
