Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
