i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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