we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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