She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
