I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
