Just cropdusted the office
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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