everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
