I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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