I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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