CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize