Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
