Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
