Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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