Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
