i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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