WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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