How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize