If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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