Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so let's talk penis.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
