Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
