you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
