I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Fuck appropriateness.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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