I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
