Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
